Bullying: An Unexpected Lesson

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(Now come on, who could hurt this face?)

I walked in the door one evening, expecting our twenty-five pound Corgi, Bagel, to sprint up to me, delivering love in his typical fashion: lots of kisses, followed by the placement of his ball directly in front of my feet. However, there was no scampering of paws. Not one inviting bark. The house was eerily quiet. As I peered through the kitchen into our living room, I spotted my husband Ryan and Bagel, sitting on the couch … staring at me. Something was wrong. Ryan approached the subject gently, “Alicia, Bagel’s okay, but he got attacked today at the dog park. One dog jumped him, and then several others piled on top mistaking this action for a game.” It was clear Bagel couldn’t walk, which instantly brought me to tears.

This was the first time Bagel had not only been hurt, but hurt by another dog maliciously. I was sad, angry, and somehow feeling guilty that I couldn’t protect him from the pain. Thanks to our veterinarian, within a week or so, Bagel was in full-fledged ball-mode once again. With this event safely behind us, I was able to explore another perspective, pondering, “Wow, I don’t know how parents do it. How do they handle their kids getting bullied or even attacked? Geez, I can’t even handle it with my dog!”

During prior years in my career, I had been our company’s Tennessee client representative for a behavior software solution, designed to improve student outcomes within schools. However that was so long ago, it has become a bit of a mirage in my rear-view mirror. I decided to brush up on my statistics, discovering:

Bullying and Violence Statistics (http://www.dosomething.org/issues/bullying)
• One in seven students from grades K-12 are either bullies or victims of bullying.
• Nearly 43% of kids have been bullied online. 1 in 4 has had it happen more than once.
• Only 1 in 10 victims will inform a parent or trusted adult of their abuse.
• An estimated 160,000 children miss school every day because they fear attack or intimidation by bullies.
• Harassment and bullying have been linked to 75 percent of school-shooting incidents.
• Fifty-four percent of students reported that witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to school violence.
• American schools hold 2.1 million bullies and 2.7 million of their victims.
• Victims of bullying are 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than students who are not bullied.

Mind-numbing. Makes you wonder, have things always been this extreme, or has violence among kids increased due to additional accessible mediums (cell phones, blogs, social media, etc.) and independence? How do parents handle it?

Honestly, my husband and I can’t wait to be parents. So I thought, who better to learn from then the ultimate Father himself?

“Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.”
Psalm 82:4 (NIV)

As I read the verse above I realized, in this scenario, the “weak and the needy” aren’t just the children being bullied–they are also the bullies themselves. For various reasons (affects from culture, family issues, social issues, etc. (http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/why-do-people-bully.html)), those that are choosing to bully others are doing so because of some type of need and/or insecurity in their own lives. Is it our job to save our children from dangerous situations, both physically and emotionally? Absolutely. But do the children that inflicted the harm need love and attention as well? Without a doubt.

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”
Matthew 5:44 (NIV)

It’s so hard to do that sometimes, isn’t it? Loving your enemy is never easy. The sad thing is, a lack of positive role models and love is often what led our enemies to become ignorant toward healthy relationships in the first place.

But it’s never too late. Never too late to take a child under our wing(s), providing guidance that may be lacking. Never too late to show love toward someone who is hurting, even if they provoked pain toward another to begin with. Never too late to emulate our Father’s ceaseless grace, though internally, our minds/hearts sometimes argue against it.

So let’s start at the source. Let’s build others up so that they won’t feel the need to make those around them feel small. We must set the example. Because honestly, if we don’t, who will?

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words.
Watch your words, they become your actions.
Watch your actions, they become your habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”
~Patrick Overton

Twitter: AliciaMSmith7

Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.